Thanks #12

Today I was catching up on some blog reading and found out a blogger I've come to love got "The News" from her husband. She's vague for obvious reasons but it was a matter of betrayal and sounded like an affair. She said she never saw it coming. She said it made her question their whole history together. 

My heart broke and I lifted her precious family to Jesus since he makes good out of bad. But putting myself in her shoes...well, it shook me. If she never saw it coming, could it be happening to me? It probably didn't help that we argued last night, but when Brian came home, I looked at him with narrow eyes. I didn't mean to, but if I watch a show where the woman is mad at the man, I'll be unwittingly testy with Brian after we shut it off. It's called empathy. It's my gift.

I told him what I read and he said, "Well, I have no news like that to tell you." He got that he was suspect and didn't take offense, but pulled me on his lap and waited while I cried a little. It's hard to go there, to think how awful it would feel. I thought about trust and how ultimately, there aren't guarantees or proof. How does that jive with feeling safe? After the crying, we watched the kids jump on the trampoline outside. He said, "I love you." 

"I know. I love you too. And them. I'm glad they don't have to worry about it." I think it comes down to believing, even if it takes a little faith. I believe in Brian. I believe in his love. I feel safe choosing to think these thoughts because I have no reason to doubt him. He tweeted the photo I'm using today with a sweet caption. For his devotion and faithfulness, I'm so, so very grateful.