The Twin Skin

Well, folks...I have a new topic I'm ready to delve into with you, but first, I have some news that may surprise you:

I bought a cream. A cream that costs $68. 

Now you all know how frugal I am, so you're probably wondering what this miracle cream does. I thought about having you write in with your guesses because that would be fun (pays the mortgage, detangles toddler's hair, repels negative people...), but I've never scored high on the patience scale, so I'm telling you now.

It shrinks skin. Tightens skin, whatever you want to call it. And before you sadly shake your head at your computer screen, I have a money-back guarantee. And it's from a legit company (Arbonne) where I've bought scary-cancer-causing-chemicals-free products since before babies. So it's safe and not witch-doctory or infomercial-y at all. 

But I am very skeptical. When I saw the before and after where someone's post-baby stomach improved in just four days, I said, "I think she just hiked her pants up." But with a money back guarantee, I told myself it was cheaper than a tummy tuck. 

So I'm going to give it a shot and I'm taking you down the rabbit hole with me. I will introduce to you my Pooch, as it looks now and take photos daily. I'm going to try to put the lotion on twice a day because, well...the  patience thing (see above). 

Let me warn you, this is not for the faint of heart. Men who have only seen airbrushed models, slowly back away. When you have a baby or two, skin obviously stretches and for some of us, it goes beyond the point of no return. When I was about to have my kiddos, my circumference was a few inches shy of my height. I'll admit, that's only 60ish inches, but still. Way past the point of no return. One evening, when my c-section didn't hurt anymore, I lay in bed and jiggled my belly. I laughed and told Brian its texture reminded me of Davy Jones from the Pirates movies. (If you don't remember, that's the octapus-beard guy.) Then I jiggled it again and felt tears in my eyes.

A year later was check up time. I sat on the examination table, looked down and motioned. "What...What is this?" I asked my gynecologist, who I like because she shoots straight.

"Skin," she said.

"So no matter what I do, it won't go away?" 

"Probably not all of it. You can tighten the muscles underneath, but not the skin. If you want it to be better, tone, tone, tone." 

Okay. Here's what we were looking at. 

I began running and did pilates videos in my living room. I can't remember how long it took, but here's how things progressed. It. Took. Forever.

You can see in the last two pictures, I finally got wise and went with a more forgiving waist band! Clearly there was fat and saggy muscle under the skin. This is where I've been, ever since. 

More or less. 

There was the renovation when I ate badly every day and gave little Pooch a refill. 

This photo was taken two years ago. With the renovation over, I was getting the hang of normal life, so I added exercise back in. I also tried to eat better. Recently with yoga, I feel like I'm as toned as I've ever been. But the skin remains. 

So this is Pooch's story so far. The lotion's been shipped and is coming my way, so I'll be taking some detailed before shots. I want to see where this goes, which may be nowhere at all skin-wise, but I'm most excited about poking around the edges of why this can bring tears to my eyes. What do you hide that you know ultimately doesn't matter, but still makes you feel bad sometimes? It's time to face these little giants and start loving our whole selves.