What a Girl

When I was still in crush stage (and stalled out there because Brian was dating someone else) I told him I hoped he'd have a daughter someday because he'd make a good father. He told me it wasn't likely, since ten of his twelve cousins were boys. I shot a prayer up, wistfully wondering if his having a daughter could possibly ever mean me having one too. My crushing was characteristically over-the-top, since I'm incapable of doing anything half-way. Fast forward seven years and we're glued to a monitor as the ultrasound tech's camera glides across my cool, gooped-up belly. "Looks like baby B is a girl." 

And she was. A tiny, bird-like girl with wrinkled, red skin as soft as a rose petal's middle. I wondered at her peach-fuzzy shoulders and twitchy stretches. I'd gaze into her glassy eyes that haltingly followed everything but me and squeezed in to kiss on her tiny neck. Brian was delirious. You could see how much he loved her when she was sleeping peacefully on his chest, but mostly, you could see it when caring for her had his phlegmatic soul all frustrated, because, in case you didn't know, babies don't make sense. 

Now look at her. She's beautiful. You can see in the photos, but we see it in the kind things she does. The beauty she brings our family is priceless. I love no sound better than when she can't stop laughing. We went with Brian's high school on a bonding retreat at a camp in Kansas earlier this week. Out in the boonies, distractions fell away, making room for unhurried jokes. I heard the music of her laugh several times because I'm starting to "get" her sense of humor and how to play along. We love her warmth when she slips into her nursing or mothering role, "reading" stories to Brian when his back went out. We love to hear her longing for Jesus, "I wish I could see him right now. When is Jesus coming?" I always tell her it's a surprise only he and his daddy know, but I hope it's soon. In the meantime, I think, he gave us a girl to wait with and pass the time, loving each other and longing for him.